Where Has All The Love Gone?

This blog is something of a personal confession. 

I have been involved in ministry within the church in various capacities for all of my adult life. Since the age of 21 there has not been a time (until recently) that I have not been actively involved in a local church to some degree. For some seasons I was just a volunteer helping where and when I could. In other times I have been a pastor, youth pastor, and associate pastor.

I love the local church and that is why I have devoted so much of my life to it, and I fully expect that service in a local church setting will be the norm for as long as I am on this earth. I believe it was the reason God created me - to help take care of people and work to grow the church and see the Bride of Christ prepared for His return.

My history and involvement is what makes me so defensive when people say negative things about the church, but I have to admit that the past few months have given me a new perspective on church and I can see that some of the criticism  is valid. You see for the past 5 months I have been in a position that is very unfamiliar and uncomfortable for me when it comes to church - on the outside looking in. Even though I still attend church I am only attending, not involved in any ministry. This "outside in" perspective has helped me to see the church in a new way and forced me to be honest about the shortcomings of the church and my own inability to address them.

One area that I have been thinking about recently is our ability (our = the church) to deal with people who struggle with sin in a loving way instead of through judgement and avoidance. The fear in loving people who sin (in ways we consider to be more serious than our own everyday sin) is that our love will be confused with acceptance as if we condone their sin. But in our inability to really love people, all people, we end up driving away the people who really need help as if we want only to fill the church with people who don't have too many problems. The problem is, that is not our job, nor the real function of a successful church.

In thinking about how I can do a better job of loving people I have focused on two things: First of all is the way that Jesus loved people, and secondly is to understand my role in the process of God's work on someone else's sin.

When I read the accounts of Jesus' life on earth it is easy to see that he had an amazing ability to love people but deal with their sin at the same time. He did not avoid them but rather reached out to them because he loved them. His love saw through the sin to the pain it caused and when he challenged them to live better lives it was because he wanted to ease that pain. I love how he was never afraid to deal with a person in sin, even if they were not ready to deal with their own sin. He did it all in love, and his love reached them when the "religious" people around them had forsaken them.

Understanding how Jesus dealt with people has helped me to learn how to love people more. Understanding his role in dealing with their sin has helped me to understand mine.

When we choose to withhold love from someone who has sinned, not wanting to appear as though we condone their actions, we are confused about our role in dealing with their sin. It is as if we see ourselves as the ones who must pass judgement on them and hand out the consequences for their actions. It sounds silly now that I write it down, but it is so true and I know I have been guilty of that exact thing many times. I know I have avoided people, judged them, and not loved them all because of their sin as if any of that was my job.

When we are cautious when dealing with people who have sinned is it because we are worried that we will be guilty by association? When we avoid them is it because we think they deserve to be sunned for a while because of their actions, or is it because we just don't know how to love them in the middle of the mess their sin has created? And what is the real risk in reaching out in love to someone who is hurting because of the mistakes they have made - someone who already feels their guilt and does not need the church to remind them.

As I said this blog is somewhat of a personal confession. I have not loved people enough because I was too cautious and worried that they might confuse my acceptance as approval. The truth is that my role in dealing with people is love and acceptance, God's role is conviction and correction.

If we (the church) would do a better job of really loving people maybe they would stay around long enough to receive the conviction, correction, and healing that God longs to give them.